One Sided Love - A Half Love Story

How many times have you been through a feeling where you love a person and that person doesn't love you back and when you are ready to do anything for their attention, their expression and their affection to you. Trust me you are not at all alone, there are people to keep you in good company. This is something that you would have come up with time and again, either with yourself or with your set of friends. This is a really a weird feeling to have, where you are ready to give in your time, money and most important of all your feelings to a single person. Weird isn't it?? Yeah rite, it is and you would now feel quite stupid to have done all that. We all do feel funny when we realize what stupidity we all did, but trust me this was the foreground where we learnt quite a lot about feelings and relationships and the factors governing them.

To be frank it isn't that bad a feeling to have, you tend to fall for the person who doesn't love you back maybe due to the lack of attention he/she pays to you and actually doesn't realize your existence until someone tells them that you too exist. It is a tendency to love the things that are out of your reach and the ones that don't give you that attention you seek. It becomes an impulse for you to have them in your life. It all starts with hate and then that hate actually changes into a form of negative love kinda feeling and then you start to feel weird. Weird in a way that you start to realize that you are actually started to fall for that person you were supposed to hate. You start to see those small little expressions from them and all the weird stuff starts to rotate around you, you start thinking that may be that person is the one that you were meant to be with. You start feeling that all the things are propelling you to be with that person, you seem that all things are working towards doing that. You find yourself in the middle of a situation where in you can't control your emotions and neither can you help yourself being with that   person. Things seem far more stretched than ever, your friends start to notice that change in your behavior and that way you come across. They won't understand the creepy way you have started to put up but still there is a chance that they might come to know about your feelings if you spill the beans out for them.

Now coming to the situation where in you have started showing emotions to this other person, you start to feel weirdly good at times, thinking that maybe this is how it was meant to be and stuff like that. You start seeking attention from that person because you want him/her to notice you out of the crowd. This ain't bad my friends, but then there is always this risk of actually you hurting yourself in this process. One sided feelings and emotions won't take your relationship to a distance, it's just like a car showing empty fuel tank and you never know when it would stop working. Don't let this thing happen to you, because you would have started loving that person with all your might and shown all your dedication to him/her without actually thinking what they feel about you. Relationship is a two sided seesaw, involving two people who actually feel the same for each other. It is no good loving that one person who can never be in your life as it only takes that time away from you and hurts you badly and you start thinking that the world is over for you. Trust me sometimes even though you are with a person whom you love without any reciprocation from his/her side, it is worst than being lonely. You are lonely in a relationship and that is the biggest trouble. Loving a person who does not love you back is the worst feeling that you can have and to add to it when you come across that the same person has fallen for someone else, you start thinking and comparing yourself with that person, feeling was I not that good enough. When you have that feeling you start losing a part of you and within no time you are a changed personality and this is a thing you realize over a period of time. We have this weird ability. we all have where we think that we can make a person fall in love with us with all the attics and tactics from our side, but what we forget is that this all relationship is all about feelings and no gimmicks and one day the other person would see through this and it would all end on a bad note. We can't make a person fall in love with us until that other person wants to fall in for us, then that is a mutual feeling. It is no good loving a person who does not love you back, when you don't get that love back, it hurts real bad.

I know it is weird that sometimes when we approach someone we love we come to know that she was also the one who was madly in love with you, but was frisky about taking the initiative and telling her feelings to you. The best alternative to all the lovers out there is that please try your heart out once for that person whom you love, if he/she has any such feeling they would reciprocate and if you want to play the waiting game please be ready to face the consequences at last, i know we all have this tendency where in we overlook the future possibilities so that we can be with that person, but then as I say that time doesn't wait for anyone, it didn't for me and it would not for you. But I would still try and I say you must also try, don't let your love story be only with you, let it out tell that person you him/her and leave the rest to their feelings and appreciate their decision as well because my friends love is nothing but a thread of feelings that attaches one to the other for eternity.

Perceptions - A Tough Business

Perceptions they say is a tricky affair, you know when you form one you kind a stick to that, what ever may happen a change of heart or a change in the person himself but some where we have that idea preconceived. People may tend to change but then do our perceptions for them change??? A very big question, a hefty one i would say. The answer lies within ourselves; you know we may be rational for things happening in other lives but then we become erratic when things happen in our own lives. Just yesterday i was having a delightful conversation to one of my friends, a girl and she told me how she actually saw perceptions changing and with that the reaction of those people as well.

The thing happened when she was having a farewell party for her masters and one of her friends has just planned to actually take a shot at drinking. Her friend was a teetotaler till this time and she just wanted to try. My friend being the good friend she is just agreed to her wish. To tell you a background my friend is hard working person, a university merit holder, an out going person to the core and an occasional drinker. So when the party was in full flow the girls thought to sneak out and have a drink to celebrate the occasion. My friend as she is just took the drinks out of the bar and she raised a toast to them, hardly knowing that people were actually seeing them and as if it mattered to her. Guys actually noticed this and they were pretty much in shock seeing their meritorious and topper friend having a drink and started to behave as if this was not meant to be for them. To add to it the people just started behaving vaguely with them, which was just a shocker to my friend. You know the perceptions here played a big part, they had made a perception of her as being that nerdy, geeky and a studious girl which she was but they had actually left out the part that she also had the right to enjoy her life. 

You know guys this happens to quiet a lot of people and even i have been under the scanner some times, but then how can u actually start perceiving a person in the way u want to and actually think that he/ she should exactly behave the way you have set the standards for them. This is ridiculous, i must say utterly ridiculous. A persons should not be judged based on your perceptions, he can't behave the way you think he should. If the same condition is applied to you then you would actually also be in the line of fire. So is it bad to make perceptions???? I would say, no but then what is bad is that u actually make a benchmark from those perceptions you had previously created for that person. You can't be judgmental all the times. A person is allowed to do what he/she feels like doing, you see all can't be good and all can't be bad. So there are all kinds of people around there and just your perceptions limit you to actually not comprehend the facts. People can be good to you and bad to you doesn't mean that a person who is bad to you is bad for every one or vice-verse. You know every one can't like you, some one would definitely hate you and that's a fact. Perceptions limit our ability to make friends and be friends at times; what we should learn from perceptions is that we should actually be aware of the situations where a person actually behaves in a particular manner. Once we have that in mind it becomes very difficult for a person to actually play with us. So actually we should form perceptions but then keeping right them within our heart is very bad and we should refrain from that. Give people their own way and freedom to do what they want, don't get carried off because of the fact that they didn't behave in the way you wanted them to, this is no reason to actually shove them off or hate them for who they are. 

Same things happens in a relationship, one of the major cause for a relationship fall-outs are perceptions. perceptions that we normally keep of one another and that is what makes our expectations grow to a higher level and that is when things tend to change. The situations are never the same for every one and we actually need to be a bit more understanding and little more accommodating to actually keep aside our perceptions, actually act on merit of the situation. Believing in this thing we actually are helping our relationship ourselves, when we start taking steps for keeping it the way it is and its then when we are strengthening our relationship.

Don't just waste time - Say what you have to Say!!!

The ironic thing about a relationship is that we never actually realize the importance of that before it is over or on the verge of getting over - funny isn't it. We all actually have the tendency to save all our talks for the last, thinking that we might be the one ending the relationship on higher grounds giving a moral boost to our ego which we generally treat as an act of selflessness.

To add to that we keep on remembering the times we had together and what all we did and then last by certainly not the least our human tendency to compare ourselves and then sob over what has happened. Yeah that's what is the truth, believe it or not we feel bad sometimes of what happened and think that we may have changed things and what could have ended up nicely was screwed. Not to mention to the fact that everything that ends, is actually screwed. But then where were we when things were going out of proportions and why didn't we take counter measures??? Now this is a question that would take some doing to answer it.

To put it in simple words we never really think that the situation has blown out of proportion and we certainly mind our heart and mind by saying that things are good its just a mere glitch. We simply overlook the things happening around and try to be happy and in that trying we loose out what we actually stood for. We believe that people would understand us or the our relationship partner would fully know what to do and would completely know what is going through our mind. Technically and scientifically he/she doesn't ever know- this is what i call "The Relationship Bubble". He may try and understand the situation but then he can never be you- can he??? The perfection in relationships only come in fairy tales, but in the real world we ought to do something to make it sound perfect. You have to tell the other person what you feel, he is no god darn alien to understand what you are going through. Guys we are a complex beings with emotions that vary from one to a million, so just let the other person know what you are feeling, things won't change until you communicate. By not saying you would just make things even more worse, because we all comprehend situations differently.

Now Coming back to the question; now what are we supposed to do. To be frank enough i have realized over a period of time that there is nothing called as a perfect time, you have got to say what you want to say when you get a chance. I know the right chance is hard to come but then you can't just wait for time to slip by and then repent and use the most obnoxious word in the English dictionary "If" to actually clam yourselves down and justify your position. I say why don't just actually use the time that we have at our disposal to actually portray what we feel for the other. Time is never right, it never was, it is just a mental blockage that we have that we may actually see win in a definitive situation. It's just that we are too afraid of loosing, loosing some one we care for, we love and feel for. That is just fine i have no qualms about it but then you might end up loosing that person forever just waiting for the right time. Don't waste your time - just say what you have to say, at last you would be happy for the fact that you actually tried. Follow your heart and do what you have to do, i know it is easier said than done but then once it is done you would be relieved, and that my friend is one of the best feeling in this whole wide world.

You know "When it is over, its over". You would not get a chance to speak your heart out and even if you get that the other person wouldn't care listening to it how much ever emotions you put into it. So say what you have to, when you have to and trust me there is nothing such as a write time. If you wait for time but it would certainly not wait for you, because it has was never meant to wait. We may feel sad when things turn ugly and not to our expectations bu then we certainly are to blame some way or other, it just like you can't just clap with a single hand (Yes, i know some of you can, please register yourself with the Guinness Books). We may fail in our attempts bu then isn't it the attempts that keep us going, the idea of failure has always kept even the greatest of all people at bay, but the triumph has been at foot steps for those who tried hard and understood where they went wrong. Change and improvement is not random, they may seem to be random but then there is always a plan to that.

So my dear Husbands give your wives a surprise gift today, buy her flowers, give her a hug, take her out for a drive and tell her that you love her so much and that she is the "love of your life". Wives get ready and knock your better halves down, bowl them over with that cute smile and that warm kiss that he has always wanted when he came home from work, cook something special for him, put on candles and make him wish, tell him that he is the support that you had always craved for. And certainly to the young couples out there, surprise your partner with something that they would never believe that you did for them, put some gifts in every corner of their rooms, giggle with them, fool around just make them laugh. Reach out to them, because how so ever busy they may be everyone loves to get a surprise. Tell them how you feel for them, good, bad  -worst and how you feel in love with them and why you are still crazy about them, because You know "When it is over, its over". 

Mail me your thoughts at wehelprelations@gmail.com and i would be more than happy to glance through them. All comments and criticism are well appreciated, we don't mind that. So just pen it down here.