The Nice Girl Concept

My today's post is dedicated to one of my closest friends that i have had. I know he would read this and curse at me, but still i am determined to post it. So my today's post is an ode to all those boys who are actually like a girl and just don't want to confess the fact, they just want to get away with "The Nice Girl Concept". All you guys out there you know what i am talking about; don't you.

There comes a time when you become so much intrigued to a person that your  passions and emotions know no boundaries and it becomes visible to every that surrounds you in your social life. Then you have the feeling of becoming speechless and don't know what to say to shut their mouth and put an end to the discussion. Now let me get straight to the story. The story is not different from the rest but just that there are twists to the tale. So lets just begin. A guy starts up talking to a girl and they start sharing their things. Then their small talks become big talks and eventually the day calling affair becomes a night calling affair. The night calling becomes a regular phenomenon and actually then as technologically advanced age would say it changes to a Skype Affair. The guy is far and the girl wants to have a glimpse and what could technology have done better than video calling. Guy becomes engrossed in the world involving just the girl, she just becomes the primordial important thing in his life. He is so engrossed that he starts to shave away from the worldly affairs that the friends start seeing so little of him. He starts eating, living, talking in his room. His room becomes his paradise and the computer becomes his transportation medium. The door remains closed and when the friends visit by he just has his earphones attached to the computer and that lovely smile on his face, seeing his friends the smile changes it contours and it becomes into a guilty smile. The friends know about the whole scenario still they give him all the space his needs, the same story repeats itself time and again. He starts dwindling with his time and his friends just wait over for him, 5 minutes become 2 hours and the clock still ticks on. Seeing all these things go on and on for weeks friends catch hold of him on a dinner party, and ask him questions as to what is he up to with this "Girl" in his life.

So now here comes the twist, the answer that the guy has in store for his friends is that there is nothing so fishy about the girl, they are friends and moreover she is a "Nice Girl". When friends ask that what is a nice girl? He just says that she is just nice yaar, nothing much right now. So what's this "Nice Girl", nice girl is all about a girl that a guy likes, and just wants to hide right till the time he is confident enough to tell about it to his friends. Now a days people have got this thing going where they are skeptical of actually accepting the fact that they like some one, until and unless they are sure enough that they can make that public. With actually making their liking public, they actually ate taking a risk of presenting a part of their personal life which until now was unexposed. Now when they expose this part of their life they actually are putting themselves in a state of vulnerability. Vulnerability their are well aware of; they know if the things between them works it fine but when the thing doesn't work out it leaves them in a tight spot where they actually think they made a mistake and people surrounding them actually see the other side to it. So to actually to overcome these vulnerabilities and actually keep their personal life and liking separate guys use this concept of "Nice Girl". Guys heart in heart know their feelings and its not and to actually protect oneself from getting hurt or be preventive against the situations which can't be accounted for now in the present. 

I have actually used the concept myself quiet a lot and got off with that without getting hurt. It may sound funny but then i have actually been through and used it, trust me this works and you can actually prevent yourself from getting hurt or getting exposed. It may help u guys prevent a heart break until you are sure with that person being the one you always wanted in your life and waited all your life.

Relationship Fall Out - A Heartbreak- How to cope up??

Now a days the probability of a relationship falling apart has increased many folds due to number of reasons and differences that have creeped between the genders and which i have been constantly taking about in my trailing posts. Still there are people who are left with heart breaks and heart aches; which are too difficult to handle and cope with. It's not that we don't want to come out of them but then situations become such that we are left with hardly any choices. I find so may unmarried and married couples now a days having a great trouble n managing the relationship fall out. It's just that they become clueless of what to do and how to handle the issues pertaining to that. Let's understand the situation completely from start to the very end and try and establish a way to tackle such issues; though the application of the solution may tend to change according to your present situation.

We all know for a fact that all times can't be good times, but then we still believe that individually we are having the worst time that any one could ever face in a relationship fall out. Now that to start with, is our first mistake by far and which sets other things in motion. Let's first of all consider the following points before we jump to the end in a fall-out.

1. It certainly is not only our fault - it's a mutual mistake or a misunderstanding

2. The relationship has not changed over night - the situation was there earlier as well; it's just that we never saw it or felt it to be so serious

3. It's not that it has just happened to you in the whole wide world  - you are certainly not the first to end up with a broken relationship, so stop having pity on yourself

4. Just don't jump to conclusions; there is already a lot happening in your mind - try avoiding being a little judge mental for some time, let things settle down and then make conclusions.

5. Don't just start bitching about your ex - specially guys stop telling your friends what you did and what you didn't and girls please stop comparisons. The situation calls for an emotional burst but then you don't want to sound creepy to people around you.

6. And finally stop putting too much pressure on yourself - Trust me nothing changes if you stop eating or just lock your self up; you just end up tormenting yourself.

Now considering the aforesaid points which we most usually do; we tend to emotionally sabotage ourselves and people around us without even understanding that things won't change because of this. We need to understand one good point for this fall-out; that things just don't work out all the time and that too that easy. Relationship involves a lot of input, when the output is a breakdown, we tend to think over the input we gave in rather than focusing on overcoming the breakdown.

When a relationship falls apart, people stick to this age old saying that time would actually heal up everything and god would certainly have had something good in his mind before putting you through this. I say that this is just a saying which has nothing to do with the healing of your relationship wound. What I personally believe is that "It's not the time that helps you heal from a relationship wound, but what you do with that time during a relationship break down". What we plan on doing in that time is what helps us in overcoming that relationship crisis and makes us emotionally level again; where in we are fit and ready to move on to a next relationship. Now this is a methodology that i call "  The Rediscovery Period". This period is very important for a person who has had a fall-out, because he/she needs time for themselves to cope up with that break down. Usually people tend to go out with their friends, relatives and family and do those crazy things that they always wanted to do which they couldn't while they were tied up in a relationship.

You know we sometimes tend to forget to look on the bright side of the break down, it actually transcribes into a newer self belief and freedom that we had always craved for and we always missed, it lets us be who we are and that is what we forget when we are in a relationship. Believe me or not we tend to change when we enter into a relationship set up and that's normal but then what's not normal is the way we operate - that's when we step into trouble. Actually we all are very selfish people, we just want all the good to happen to us and when trouble steps its feet in our lives we start to blame. So the long and the short of the story is that we all need to see the larger perspective in our relationship, how can fall-out be so bad with a person whom we were completely in love with a while ago, things tend to change but then we need to handle change in a manner that we don't hurt ourselves and others whom we used to love. Communicating your feelings never hurts, if you choose the right time and the moment and if you don't then stay put for a fall-out.