How do i know if there is some thing wrong in my Relationship?

I got this from a friend of mine who shared with me his concerns regarding his relationship issue, asking how can he know that something is wrong in a relationship ? Now that my friends is a tough one to answer. It's not that this is chronic and would have symptoms for the same which we can underline and take the necessary precautions. We have to be cautious and that's what can save us from the trouble. Most of us have this issue of finding what has gone wrong with our relationship. We try and start seeing this in a different aspect and start observing things microscopically and sometimes we over do things and over ride our limits as well, just trying to salvage of what is left and trying to gain what we lost.

Can we actually come to know that something is wrong ?? The answer is yes, for sure. We can come to know, if we want to know. You know sometimes the outcome to a situation is actually our own doings which we just ignore. At times we may think that we are acting perfectly but then we may not be. Somethings perfection may be the hindrance and times may be not being perfect may be the glitch. Then how can we actually do the rightful thing, do we need some kind of a balance to sort this mess out. Do we?? No we actually don't. We actually need to act according to the situation. We have to be perfect not being  so perfect, we all expect our partner to be imperfectly perfect. But then we are not super humans, we ain't those people who can act perfectly all the time, We have the right to make mistakes and we also have this right to make up for those mistakes. If you are with the right person we will actually see that he/she would see the point and would accept you for the rightful things that you are doing.

We are people who would actually remain happy when things are good and when things go for a toss we think that it was all right till yesterday and all of a sudden what wrong happened?? We don't realize at that time, we were all this time ignoring this that were happening right in front of us, we chose to ignore them for the sake of our convenience and  just took that time to be happy. We all are right in that very aspect, we have the right to enjoy and why should we even care, but then we are the same people who care when the things go for a toss. When we are the same people, then why do we act so deferentially ?? This is who we are, this is the way we act and we would only learn while we make mistakes and take a cue from that mistake. But the point is that why should we??

We have to actually be observant enough to have the cues from our relationship, in different situations. We sometimes take things lightly, but then we have to change this habit of ours. We have to be the ones to be proactive. Things change and so do people, we have to change according to the situations and time, there may be times when we act in a particular manner but then may be the situation is completely different so we have to act accordingly. I know this is tough, but when the going gets tough, the tough get going. We have to be patient, observant and reciprocative enough to fix things. There is not a particular check list that i can mention and you an grid yourself in a similar manner and try to find out the group that you fall into. You will yourself know when things go wrong only if you have seen the thick of things and you have been the one that has had a feel of things in past. There are no symptoms that I can list here, like uneasiness of your partner, agitated behavior and not being happy in your company. It can so happen that even when he/she is happy you have some problem. Some people don't try to show of their emotions and we can't have a category for things going wrong in a relation. So just see to this that you are the one that is all what i mentioned. Please don't try and barge into some one's personal life, sometimes people need to be alone, even your partners. They need some time off for some time, they deserve it and you have to give them. please don't barge into some one's personal life, this can add to your relationship woes. 

The Relationship "Change"

Every one has tasted troubled waters in congruence to relations - whether it is starting one, maintaining the existing one or putting an end to the existing relation. When it comes to us, we all want to be in a relation, may be friendship, may be a love affair, a fling or even when it comes to parents or relatives. We want or wish things to be picture perfect as we have dreamed of them. But meanwhile we realize that all of a sudden relations have changed, things that we used to like have changed to things we dislike the most and we still continue to be in that particular state.Things do set to change but how so ever random they might appear to be there is always a hidden plan, the one that we are not able to see. to be precise actually chaos is the status-quo undoubtedly for me. There is nothing that happens randomly, it was always there and was developing, only that we couldn't see it coming. It is not because that we don't want out but we keep on hoping that things might "CHANGE"

"CHANGE" is a very very strong word to believe in and to trust, now to change one thing that i know for sure is that for change to happen we also need to change and that my friends is the most difficult part of the process. How can we start behaving different from  who we actually are to something that pleases the people around us. Relations falter when we start sticking to the same status-quo that we want to maintain and don't want to change.

It happens in every walk of life. Right from our parents who don't change accordingly to the existing situations and just continue to remain in their frenzy past and exemplify things how they were being taken care of that time, to our friends who some times start acting weird as if you never existed and your more to do loving partner starts misunderstanding you for things that some time ago he/she actually loved and made him/her fall for you. Now that is what requires CHANGE. We do tend to change when relations knock us down flat on our back and then we start getting older and wiser and become the ones preaching for things how to be done and handled. We miss the underlying fact that we still have not changed, the effect is momentarily showing its results and in the long run we ought to commit a error again. Now i am not aganinst committing errors, but that there is a difference between an error and a blunder and i guess u guys are smart enough to understand that.

Now how do we get out of this mess, do we need to focus on changing ourselves completely to start understanding the other person to make the relationship work, or do we just get out of the relationship and dissolve it or believe that this is how it was meant to be or sign from god that it was not the right relation---now this is a question that needs some thought. 

Mail me your thoughts and queries at wehelprelations@gmail.com and post your valuable comments if have a thought in your mind.

Relationship - A simple thing complex in nature

Relations- a word used by all of us every goddamn time when we think of people; and by far we all only think about people. Intangible things take a backseat when compared to people. 

It is said that it s easier to make a living rather than making a fruitful relationship. You must know exactly know the right amount of ingredients to make up your imperfectly perfect relationship; where less can make it tasteless and more can make it sour.

We in all our day to day chores somehow are entangled in this vicious circle of relationship management- a)it may be your girlfriend who thinks she had enough of your crap talks and little love b) may be a boyfriend who is fed up from his over the top possessive girl c) a boss that doesn't let you do your thing d) all the more your so called annoying parents asking you to get married e) when your are not happy with what you are doing and want a desperate change. Where do you go, what do you do. There is this question that everyone asks himself/herself who to ask for advice. Bluntly speaking you go to your near n dear ones whom you love- your friends. Now they do share your thought process and give you an advice but then they mix up their own emotions unknowingly to your already screwed up relation. The bigger thing is that we guys listen to them, out of love and respect of their opinion. Now that's where the trouble starts. Juggling different thought processes ain't easy and you get held up. Once you are caught off-guard you are meant to be doomed. 

So now the question remains that So how exactly do you judge when it is more and when it's less and where to go for the answers to the daily troubled relations that we are having  and facing.

Write to me: wehelprelations@gmail.com, we may be of good help to you guys.