Saturday, October 13, 2012

One Sided Love - A Half Love Story

How many times have you been through a feeling where you love a person and that person doesn't love you back and when you are ready to do anything for their attention, their expression and their affection to you. Trust me you are not at all alone, there are people to keep you in good company. This is something that you would have come up with time and again, either with yourself or with your set of friends. This is a really a weird feeling to have, where you are ready to give in your time, money and most important of all your feelings to a single person. Weird isn't it?? Yeah rite, it is and you would now feel quite stupid to have done all that. We all do feel funny when we realize what stupidity we all did, but trust me this was the foreground where we learnt quite a lot about feelings and relationships and the factors governing them.

To be frank it isn't that bad a feeling to have, you tend to fall for the person who doesn't love you back maybe due to the lack of attention he/she pays to you and actually doesn't realize your existence until someone tells them that you too exist. It is a tendency to love the things that are out of your reach and the ones that don't give you that attention you seek. It becomes an impulse for you to have them in your life. It all starts with hate and then that hate actually changes into a form of negative love kinda feeling and then you start to feel weird. Weird in a way that you start to realize that you are actually started to fall for that person you were supposed to hate. You start to see those small little expressions from them and all the weird stuff starts to rotate around you, you start thinking that may be that person is the one that you were meant to be with. You start feeling that all the things are propelling you to be with that person, you seem that all things are working towards doing that. You find yourself in the middle of a situation where in you can't control your emotions and neither can you help yourself being with that   person. Things seem far more stretched than ever, your friends start to notice that change in your behavior and that way you come across. They won't understand the creepy way you have started to put up but still there is a chance that they might come to know about your feelings if you spill the beans out for them.

Now coming to the situation where in you have started showing emotions to this other person, you start to feel weirdly good at times, thinking that maybe this is how it was meant to be and stuff like that. You start seeking attention from that person because you want him/her to notice you out of the crowd. This ain't bad my friends, but then there is always this risk of actually you hurting yourself in this process. One sided feelings and emotions won't take your relationship to a distance, it's just like a car showing empty fuel tank and you never know when it would stop working. Don't let this thing happen to you, because you would have started loving that person with all your might and shown all your dedication to him/her without actually thinking what they feel about you. Relationship is a two sided seesaw, involving two people who actually feel the same for each other. It is no good loving that one person who can never be in your life as it only takes that time away from you and hurts you badly and you start thinking that the world is over for you. Trust me sometimes even though you are with a person whom you love without any reciprocation from his/her side, it is worst than being lonely. You are lonely in a relationship and that is the biggest trouble. Loving a person who does not love you back is the worst feeling that you can have and to add to it when you come across that the same person has fallen for someone else, you start thinking and comparing yourself with that person, feeling was I not that good enough. When you have that feeling you start losing a part of you and within no time you are a changed personality and this is a thing you realize over a period of time. We have this weird ability. we all have where we think that we can make a person fall in love with us with all the attics and tactics from our side, but what we forget is that this all relationship is all about feelings and no gimmicks and one day the other person would see through this and it would all end on a bad note. We can't make a person fall in love with us until that other person wants to fall in for us, then that is a mutual feeling. It is no good loving a person who does not love you back, when you don't get that love back, it hurts real bad.

I know it is weird that sometimes when we approach someone we love we come to know that she was also the one who was madly in love with you, but was frisky about taking the initiative and telling her feelings to you. The best alternative to all the lovers out there is that please try your heart out once for that person whom you love, if he/she has any such feeling they would reciprocate and if you want to play the waiting game please be ready to face the consequences at last, i know we all have this tendency where in we overlook the future possibilities so that we can be with that person, but then as I say that time doesn't wait for anyone, it didn't for me and it would not for you. But I would still try and I say you must also try, don't let your love story be only with you, let it out tell that person you him/her and leave the rest to their feelings and appreciate their decision as well because my friends love is nothing but a thread of feelings that attaches one to the other for eternity.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Love Lost in a Relationship



Most of us have this trouble, that we start feeling that all love is lost in our relationship at some point of time in the tenure of our relationship with our companion. This is actually a tricky feeling to have, which can actually cause you to be over cautious, overprotective and highly demanding. It’s not that it’s not a good feeling to have but the problem is that this starts small and grows up to become a big issue. Loss is always accompanied by grief, sorrow and comparison from your present state to the past. Love Lost is mostly a common phenomenon now a days as we have become so mobile that we have loads of things that we have to look up to – a social media life, a personal life, a professional life, a companion life, a friend’s life that we hardly have time to juggle between all of them. We have to be physically or digitally be present everywhere, so that we have a grasp of everything. We don't want to lose out on anything; we always want to be the part of the action.

Now when we have all these things to take care, we somehow tend to put our relationship aside quiet for some time, thinking that our partner would understand the issue of time management and the commitments that we have. We just want them to understand that though we love them, care for them we still are busy. Sometimes they do tend to understand but when this becomes a phenomenon for quite some time, now this is when the problem of Love Lost starts to creep in. We start to have these assumptions that may be our companion is not interested in us or maybe he/she is seeing someone else. This gives rise to fear and that creates a way for insecurity to creep into our relationships. Insecurity causes unwanted tension, strain and over demanding attitude from us. We start changing from the loving and caring companion to someone who is always thinking on the aspect as to what is our partner doing and we start constantly breathing down his neck. We start suspecting his actions and behavior and to top that if things are not working on well between the two of you which are not, the situation is getting worse. You start getting irritated at some little things, which you never used to care about earlier and you start treating yourself as the boss and start dictating terms. 

The most important part of this problem is that after all these things happen, you start to compare the situations now and before, which leads to creation of a void between you and your companion which are unaware of. This usually leads to cranky fights and you getting pissed off even at jokes or sometimes irrational behavior as well. The fights now become an integral part of your daily routine with you and your partner. On the other hand your partner is unable to understand the turmoil that you are going through reason being because it is all buried deep within you which you also don't know. Even though we try to sort things out it usually doesn't work because these things have got imbibed in us for the amount of time we have spent thinking on them. To top all these things, the worst part is yet to come and when the situations grow out of bounds, you start thinking why at the first place did we even enter into a relationship and trust me when I say this; this is not the situation that you want to be into. This situation only brings out the worst in anyone. We start fighting and we unintentionally hurt the person we have loved with all the might just for some silly reasons and we just want to put our relationship to the grave.

Situations always grow out of bounds in Love Lost Situations and we hardly know about this. We become so impermeable that we even don't understand the irrationality behind our actions. We just keep on acting because of the fear of losing our loved ones. We should ideally be the ones talking all the time about our relationships with our companion and trust me only talking does not do anything. We need to show our love and care for the ones we actually do. Keeping our emotions and feelings to ourselves we can't justify the fact that our companion didn't understand us. We are very different people when we get into this Zone of Love Lost, we entirely change to someone we even don't know. 

So it is better that we should speak out our emotions and make our companion realize that we require love and affection and if there are sentiments and love in your relationship the tide would again turn to your end; you would be riding the wave rather than trying to escape it. We should learn one very good attribute for man’s best friend-a dog, that when we require attention, care and love just cuddle around your loved one. That involuntary hug would say a thousand words and would portray all your love. That one thing could change things for you, be the ones to initiate these talks and start taking action, start showing your emotions rather than sitting with fear of losing your loved one. What matters is what you do to show your love, leave the rest to time.